Tips for the Single Mom

being fabulous in your Post-Divorce life....

1.  Commit to being the most authentic version of yourself.  Don't create a persona or allow others to shape any part of you. For some of you out there this may mean deeply exploring areas of your psyche that have been dormant for quite some time (either by choice or by force).  Finding a good therapist can help you along the way as well as your commitment to being completely honest with yourself.  

2.  Stretch yourself to be hip in some way.  If you are a nerd with a wardrobe from the 1980's, head to mall for new threads.  If your kids roll your eyes at your music selection, try listening to some contemporary tunes.

3. Let go of the past.  As Wayne Dyer says, "the wake does not steer the ship."  The only part of your past you are truly stuck with is the fact that you have fabulous children.  Everything else is up for negotiating if it is coming with you into your future. 

4.  Challenge yourself to do something new, exciting, and scary every single week.  This can take on a lot of different forms for many different gals.  You may want to start skydiving, horseback riding, or step foot in a gym for the first time. The important thing is that the challenge move you forward. And remember, the way you challenge yourself may seem completely insane, ridiculous, or boring to another individual.  Own it, realize it has nothing to do with anyone else, enjoy the rush, and applaud yourself afterwards.  Then plan the next one.

5.  Shake what your mamma gave you...accept your body for all of its glory.  For me this was starting to wear a bikini - for the first time since high school....yes, you read this correctly.  Previously I had been told by certain individuals in a very demeaning way to cover up my "tummy area."   Ya know what, screw 'em.  Don't assume any of this was easy.  Just going shopping was hard - thank goodness for the very kind saleswoman who pulled my size in every single bikini.  I then was so mortified it took all the strength I had to walk around my empty house for the first time in it.  Turns out, I rock a bikini and lots of other quite trendy, appropriate, yet totally hot clothes.

6.  Become a morning person.  I still struggle with this last one every day.  My boyfriend is a morning person - he doesn't just believe the early bird catches the worm, he believes you should be the very first early bird out of bed every morning.  This takes a lot of getting use to.  I can share that the first time I realized how much  I got done before others were even awake, I was sold.  I can also share that there may be times when you beg your kids to go to bed earlier because you have been up since 6am - this last part is hard with teenagers.