Thursday, October 3, 2013

Granny Panties

According to Maya Angelou, a woman should have money, a great outfit, child hood memories, and some racy stories to share.  She should have some tools, a sexy bra, friends, furniture, and  housewares.  Control over her destiny, ability to stay grounded, the ability to end a relationship, the acceptance of who she is, a place to find peace, and goals.  

With all due respect Ms. Angelou, one thing is missing from your list...for those sisters out in the dating should all absolutely have a pair of Granny Panties.  You know the pair, usually beige, nude (and not a sexy nude) or light pink and most importantly big.  Really big.  Big like your whole  tush and most of your midsection are both  completely covered.  They should be horrid, baggy and not for public display.  Better if they are cotton or worse some sort of synthetic material.  

Why should a single woman out looking for a man possess such an item in her wardrobe?  Because they are the one iron clad guarantee that you will not rush the physical side of any new relationship.  No way you are going to strip down and reveal to a new guy an unflattering pair of underwear.  

Now, just to be clear, if you are looking for a casual relationship or even just a friends with benefits situation, then go for it girlfriend.  Be safe, get tested often, and have all the fun that you want out there.  I have met many men who are looking for casual so be clear in your intention and the right person will certainly come your way.  

But most women I know are looking for a relationship and not just another notch on their bedpost.  The problem is knowing when it is a relationship worthy of a bigger commitment and starting the physical. Jumping into bed early in a relationship can be fine, but can also completely backfire.  Women think that if they finally take off the granny panties their man will commit, and a relationship will start to build.  Most men do not think this way.  Remember "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"   

Determining when to stop wearing the granny panties is a personal decision and probably based on a conversation you and the guy have regarding the state of your relationship.  You may need exclusivity, online dating profiles down, cut contact with any other possibilities, the label of "girlfriend."  Whatever it is be an adult and be clear with your partner.  Don't throw away the granny panties if you aren't sure what your man is thinking.  Any guy worthy of your time will understand your need to keep on your granny panties until you are comfortable with your situation.  

 I yet again find myself dedicating a post to my dear friend Dannielle Pearson who challenges me to kick-up my girly and remember my feminine.  She is horrified I have a pair of granny panties and believes with all her heart that she can actually save my pathetic self from a lifetime of comfortable (but pathetic) underwear choices.  Dan, may the force be with you sister, I wish you and Victoria Secret all the luck in the world.  I am honored to be your fashion project for 2014, please do not give up the mission.  Just remember they need to be comfortable - I can't do itchy.  

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