Slut-O-Ween: Time to Parent

Slutty Halloween costumes have a strong foothold in today's marketplace.  Why are parents allowing their teenage daughters to purchase them?  

Ten years ago I was in a bar in Long Branch New Jersey in late October.  A group of very young 20 something females were dressed as the characters from the Wizard of Oz.  Cute right?  Except Dorothy had on garters, the Tin Man was wearing a silver bikini, the Lion had on booty shorts, and the scarecrow was wearing thigh highs.  This was my first experience with slutty Halloween costumes.  I was horrified and actually felt bad for these women who were cheapening themselves with their cry for attention.  My first thought, "where are their parents?"

And over the last few years I have watched many slutty versions of  Halloween costumes become the norm. When you were in high school would your parents have allowed you to wear fishnet stockings?  Garters? Thigh Highs?  So why do you allow your daughter to?   I can only imagine what would have happened if I had tried to walk out my parent's front door in such a costume.   I would probably still be grounded, and rightfully so.  And yet these slutty costumes are flying off the shelves and parading around neighborhoods each year.

It is high time all of us parents actually parent, just like our own folks did.  So many parents today want to be friends with their children and make them happy.  We give into their demands to keep up with their friends in all areas including technology, clothing, and vacations.  Somehow this generation of parents has missed the boat when it comes to the purpose of parenting...to raise responsible productive citizens who live their lives on a set of core values.  This should include teaching our daughters not to dress like a porn star for trick-or-treat.    

Our message to our young daughters should be simple:  have some respect for your being and cover yourself up.  You will look cheap in those slutty costumes.  You don't need to wear a sheer version of The Little Mermaid to get attention. Girl scouts do not wear stripper heals, Minnie Mouse does not go strapless.   Last I checked the historic pictures of the devil do not include a tule skirt and his ass hanging out.  Real sailors do not show cleavage.  Halloween is in October.  It is cold in October.  Let's teach our daughters to pay attention to the weather. 

If your daughter is looking for her costume, look with her.  Have the conversations.  Based on your own values talk to your kids about the appropriate way to present themselves to the world.  The only way your daughter is going to hear these things is from you.  Let her know that she is worthy of attention for who she is as a person and she doesn't want the type of attention that comes with dressing like a stripper.

Here is another idea, learn to say "No."  When your daughter hurls "all the girls are wearing these" in your direction, learn to say "Ok, thanks for letting me know, you are not."  Talk to your children that it is your responsibility as a parent to protect them from themselves and sometimes make decisions for them that they are not going to be particularly happy about.  Surrounded by peer pressure kids are not always capable of making appropriate choices, so we need to parent. Most importantly, make sure your kids know that it is not your job as a parent to make them happy.

I always give credit where credit is due. While the term slut-o-ween has apparently been around for years, I read it for the first time in the Huffington Post  recently.  Thank you Jenny Witte of Mamatoga.com for bringing this issue to my attention.

This post is dedicated to my parents who, in addition to raising me to be one amazingly confident and independent woman taught me to respect myself.