Sunday, October 27, 2013

My Amazing Co-Parent

We sit next to each other at our children's activities, we talk or text daily about our three children, we support each other in our personal lives. Over these last years we have made sure the other has a birthday gift and cards from the kids, we take care of each other on Mother's Day and Father's Day, and he comes to open presents on Christmas morning even though it is technically "my" holiday with the girls.  I thanked him in my dissertation acknowledgements.

I am honored to call my co-parent in crime a true friend.

In our split we took the high road, and each demanded the other act like an adult.  It wasn't always easy and we certainly had our moments.  But overall I am so proud of the way we marched through these last few years. We have shared many great parenting moments and have many more to share in the future...graduations then sending each of the girls off to college then launching them into the adult world.  There will be weddings to share and we will become grandparents together.

While we both greatly benefit from the peace we share, I believe it is a true gift we give to our three daughters.

We have also had to weather a few storms with our girls and I suspect there will be a few more.  We have handled each storm as a united front, one of us holding an umbrella as the other tries not to kill the child in question.  We have three daughters, one tween and two teens. It is amazing we make it out of our parenting time alive each week.  But we do and usually it is with the help of the other, running a carpool or talking the other off the ledge.

To be clear, we don't sit around singing Kumbaya or anything.  But we care deeply about one another as friends and operate with great respect.

When any marriage breaks up there can be pain and emotions usually get a tad bit out of control. You may have seen parents give each other the cold shoulder, scream in front of their children about their problems, say nasty things and put their children in the middle because of anger. I often think, what is the point?  Maybe they can not put the pain behind them, or maybe they somehow feel better acting nasty.  Trust me, nothing good can come from this behavior. Be happy, find peace, move forward.

So Happy Birthday to My Amazing Co-Parent.  I am thrilled our children have you as a father, we have found great peace in our relationship, I can call you a dear friend, and can still joke that you are older than I.

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