Thursday, October 17, 2013

Where to find a guy?

It's Raining Men...Put Away Your Umbrella

I have single friends who are interested in starting a new relationship. They complain about how hard it is to meet a great guy and I agree it is not easy to meet someone spectacular.  Many single and divorced moms are busy.  We work, have children to raise, some of us are in school, add in a few chores, errands, and family obligations and you quickly realize that its not exactly raining men in your normal daily life.  And, let's face it, even if it was pouring men you are too busy to notice those who may be crashing into your umbrella.

If you are having a hard time finding love, maybe you are going to have to put in some effort and get out there in some way.  When I was really ready to find a relationship I took a "leave no stone unturned" approach to the process.  Here are my top 10 suggestions for places to meet a guy.

1)  Social Media.  Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Google+ can all provide great opportunities to meet single guys.   Pay attention to what others are posting and look for hints that they, or their friends may be single.  Be safe, follow the advice of +Marni Battista in her post on - The Dating Experts and get clicking out in cyberspace.  It is worth repeating - be safe.

2)  Ask every friend you have to set you up on one date.  This may seem ridiculous and not everyone will come through for you, but some just might.  Think back to every person who has said to you "hey, I have someone to set you up with," then call those people and call in the favor.

3)  Go to the gym during the meat market hour which, and I heard this first hand from an expert, is between 6pm and 7pm at night.  You do not need a whole plan.  Just go the first few times and scope out the place. If you are in fear of looking ridiculous, hire a trainer and be brutally honest that you need a workout routine to get you moving but also to put you in the sight of the opposite sex.  Any good trainer will love the challenge.
Do not hang out in the "ladies only section," and do not take Zumba - enough said.

4)  Take a, photography, acting - yes, I know a couple who met in an acting class.  He took it seriously, she signed up to ...guess new people!  Their love was born over Shakespeare.  Who has classes in your area?  Try the local colleges, adult schools, or museums.  Heck, post on your Facebook page that you are looking for a great class and see what your friends know about.  Make sure you take something interactive that is going to get you moving and communicating.

5)   Join Meet-Up.  Meet-up is a website where members can create different events based on interest groups.  Some are specifically designed for singles others focus around a particular interest.  You could be hiking one day and out for drinks the next.  Search for your geographical area and see what it is going on.  As a bonus, the site is super easy to navigate.

6)  When out and about in the world, put down your phone, make eye contact, say hello to every single person you pass by and start conversations with new people every day.  Start with the weather and see where things go.  What - afraid of being shot down?  Who the heck cares...and suppose, just for one moment, you peak someone's interest?  Be the friendliest person.  You will attract others.

7)  Start hanging out at coffee shops.  Look busy and and interesting at the same time.  Visit at different times during the day and see who is also a habitual visitor.  Make eye contact - but not in a creepy way.

8)  Get involved in a community service project either through a religious organization or a local non-profit.  Build a house, sort clothing, volunteer at a shelter, help run a program for youth.  You never know whom you are going to meet (and whom they know) AND as an added bonus, you are doing some good for the world.  Win-win

9)  Hire a matchmaker.  I do not have any experience in this area but the service seems to be gaining in popularity.  I've heard of a successful one in my area and there are several online versions as well.  These are great for those who like to be selective and can hire someone to do the sorting for them.

10)  Last but not least, and you knew it was coming...GET ONLINE....Plenty of Fish,, eHarmony, OkCupid...I don't care which one or how many you choose to get on, just please get out there. I was convinced that setting up a profile was a portal to hell and embarrassment. Not only did my time online dating provide endless amusement but I actually met some great guys, went on some really fun dates, and...well...met someone amazing.

Get cracking sister!  He is waiting for you and more than likely will not be parading through your living room as you sit on the couch and wonder how you are going to meet a great guy.  Grab a friend, 20 seconds of courage, and get out and see who is waiting for you!

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