Sunday, June 8, 2014

My Next Trip Around the Sun

I just awoke to a beautiful day here in New Jersey, and lucky for me, it is my birthday. As I start 45, I am a bit stronger, crazier, and abundantly happier.  This past year was about a searching and starting, and maintaining my authentic self at all times.  While there have been lessons learned every single day, even from my garden, a few big ones were themes of this past year.

Lesson 1:  Reach for the stars.  As I graduated from Rutgers and transitioned out of the stay-at-home-mom world, Your Social Media Hour was born.  I saw my grit, determination, multi-tasking and ability to reach for the stars, all in plain site. Networking, writing,  building websites and planning were part of each crazy day.  I have clients I love working for and plans to expand in a few different areas. No idea is to big.  Just go for it.

Lesson 2:  Sometimes you have to get really uncomfortable to find what you want.   I wanted to find an amazing individual to partner with in life, and I knew he was not going to just ring my doorbell.  So I entered the world of online dating.  I was uncomfortable and embarrassed while being thoroughly entertained.  And with a clear intention, great sense of humor, lots of sifting through fish,  and advice and support of my dear friend +Sandy Weiner, well, he entered.  He is matched crazy and energy to me, has a center core of integrity, is a  phenomenal father, and whole and complete...he is my King of Cups.  I had to get "skin crawling" uncomfortable to find him and that discomfort was worth it.

Lesson 3:  When its right, it is right.  During this past year my co-parent and I broke up the nest.  Our children were nesting in a home and we moved in and out based on our parenting schedule.   Moving forward I will maintain the house.  It is big, needs work, is cluttered with stuff and is expensive.  But being here just feels right to me.  Everyone has enough space and my business has space to grow.  No need to move.

Lesson 4:  Be a freakin' parent.  We aren't mean to be friends with our children during their high school years.  They are to go out in the world and develop friendships with peers.  We stand behind the scenes making sure their grades are good, skirts the appropriate length, and digital activity in check.  We provide food, shelter, clothing and a safe haven of security.  But, what our children do not need is pampering, the feeling that a cell phone is a right, or a parent walking on egg shells so the child is our friend.  Most times you just have to swoop in and be the authoritarian.  Our parents didn't care if we liked them or not and they certainly didn't teach us that everyone is a winner.  We were raised to be responsible.  Kids are dying for that direction and structure.

This next trip around the sun is about healing and building on what  I have learned.  According to the tarot my business is going to take off in ways never imagined and planned.  Something is growing, a seed inside of me - lots of ideas are percolating.   A great teacher is coming into my life and then the big opportunity comes my way.  I'm thinking Google (if this seems crazy to you please refer back to lesson #1).  

I also have some healing to do, as there is a dark hole in me that needs mending -  I was rejected, misunderstood, and ousted by those who are suppose to unconditionally love me.  This pain has traveled with me through time and while I have accepted and forgiven the hole in my heart remains. I am the only one who can truly close this gap, but need the support of others to help with the process.

What I love most about my life, and really most important are the people who are around me.  My three daughters who bring an abundance of love and light into my life.  My special person who has given me the comfortable place to sit authentically as myself; Marcus, my King of Wands who provides me with guidance like no other, Susan, my high Priestess of the Universe my sister, Dannielle for protecting my inner hopeless romantic, and Eric, my little brother.

The people, the lessons, the building, the healing...ok, let's get this party started.  

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