Thursday, July 26, 2012
Hey! Where did all my friends go??
I love summer...ok, well almost everything about summer. The only thing I don't like is the constant reminder of the friends who ditched me the minute they found out I was getting divorced. I had a whole wonderful clique of friends here in town...oh wait, scratch that...I had a group of bitchy women I thougth were friends. We ran PTO events, hung out at the pool, babysat for one another, ran girl scout troops together, co-coached sports, our husbands were friends, had pizza every Friday night...you get the idea. And the minute I told them I was going through a divorced, I was dumped. And the only time I really have to ever see them is poolside during the summer. Ugghhh... So why did they dump me? Well it turns out they weren't happy that I didn't consult them in my decision to get divorced. Whhhaaattt? You may be asking yourself...that's insane, but yet, it is true. Next they liked my ex and I together. No comment. If you have friends that did anything similar to this, I hate to break it to you, they are not real friends. They are friends who like your directory information and probably, as I realized after much reflection, don't really know you as a person. As I am all about solutions, here is how I handle it. First and foremost, I found a few really good friends. I ditched my idea that I had to be part of a group, or that my friendships had to look a certain way. I have two besties here in town and of course my college buds...seriously, I don't need a gaggle. Two, my therapist and I worked tiredelessly on letting it go and not taking it personally. She is amazing and I thank the universe for her every single day. Three, I was able to somehow dig down deep, find strength, and can for the first time just stand on my own. I would rather be alone that with the unauthentic. I just "be" when I am there, and since I am awesome, this works wonders. And it will work for you as well. And if you ever see me standing alone, come on over and say hi. I love to chat.