Friday, August 3, 2012
NJ Divorce - one good friend
I will talk often about frienships and the possible transition you may experience. I've had the full range of friend problems. My ex and I separated a bit over three years ago, and as I have previously discussed, my friends did not handle it well at all. With the exception of one of my besties. When I called to share the decision with her she said "ya know, I trust that you are making the best decision for yourself. You have a good head on your shoulders. If it was one of our other friends, I might not feel as comfortable. But I know you, and I know you have really thought this out." Now, don't get be wrong, she wasn't thrilled. She had been there when my ex and I first started dating. She was in our wedding. She was our constant third (not a third wheel) and whenever the group got together. She is the godmother to our youngest child. And when all the shit was hitting the fan, she had confidence in me and my decision to know what is best for me in my life. She knew that if I was walking away from the marriage, I needed to get out. I often think of her trust and the confidence she had in me that day. It is why I call her when I am at my worst points - when I am going through something horrible. Because she knows me best of all and can say "you've got this...you can fix it...you know it will get better." Even if she can't figure out any advice on how to go about those first few steps. If you are divorced or divorcing, and if you don't have at least one good friend like mine... I'll help you out. No matter what, it will be fine. You are making a good decision for you. You will fix it. Then repeat it 100x - and maybe 100 more if you need it. Also, if you have a friend who is in a divorce or a single mom, make sure she knows you have her back. That while there may be physical distance and you can't see each other all the time, when you chat convey to her a message of hope - it is all she needs.